Science is Against You! – The Coke Dares Tour Diary Pt. 4

Every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed man

The Coke Dares are an American rock and roll band, currently on tour in America.  They’re being kind enough to document their journey for Postcard Elba.  Go behind the music with these unplugged storytellers for the best week ever!

Mon. July 12th: Philadelphia, PA – Kung Fu NecktieBy John Bottom

From the ashes of last night’s eating challenge, we awoke in the darkened room of hypothermic conditions at the Radisson. A quick jump to The Buck (where we would return again later) and we slid into the booth at a diner from a different era, Frank’s Diner. A place for people….with all the time in the world.

Ah yes, an old timey diner, where the faces and smiles are as honest as the prices. Where the service is as determined to be slow as the coffee is thin, the waitress is apologetic, and the whole experience is borderline unrepeatable. Yet, this seems to happen again and happen, like attempting to create a mixed drink Popsicle with high alcohol content. It won’t work! Give it up! Science is against you! You can’t will alcohol into freezing. One thing though, the pork roll was sweaty and delicious.

One pork roll leads to another

Bonus: we return to the Starbucks to retrieve Pete’s wallet. All cash, cards, and coupons were intact. Then there is a scare that Jason has left his fiber supplement at the diner. Luckily, it is found minutes later under a large pile of hot sauce packets.

We arrive in Philly early. It is sooooo hot. Seriously. We are told by the bartender, who has just opened the bar, that we can park right by the back door because “this is the part of Philly that nobody gives a shit about.” He also informs us that our equipment will be safe in the van as well, because right across the street are two or three drug dealing houses. “They don’t want any trouble, so this is actually one of the safest streets in Philly.”

Franklin's gotta make the Benjamin's somehow, and if that means flippin yay...well that's what Franklin's gonna do.

Contradictory information? Well, kind of. It should be fine. Right?

We talk with the promoter, Jamie, about 80s and 90s hardcore. He’s a very stand up gent.

The show is very poorly attended. Natch. What’s it called when you continue to beat a dead horse way after it has started to decompose? Beating a rotting horse?  A Festering Philly? Philadelphia is always rough, no new news there.

We head back to the home of Mike “Slo-mo” Brenner, Lap steel Extraordinaire. Mike has been studying with an Indian musician, an instrument that I do not even want to attempt to spell. It has two sets of drone strings and lots of sympathetic strings. It’s pretty incredible.

Yeah, that is a pretty crazy looking instrument

He then shows us a video of said instructor. He gives some guiding vocabulary to describe the difference between the notation of Indian and American-European notation. I do not remember any of this vocabulary. It was late. I was drunk. Moral: Never study drunk unless you’re going to take the test drunk. I do remember that he was wearing a gorgeous flowing blouse. Mental note: Spend more time in the Women’s section in Goodwill.

An air mattress was splayed on the floor of this room and it became my bedroom. Poof!

I fell asleep listening to the sounds of the city and at about 2:30 am the sounds of Ruby, Mike lil’ 4 year old, asking for apple juice. Mmmmmm, apple juice. That’s sounds real good right now.

The Coke Dares tour continues, and you should be a part of the fun at one of these shows.

Fri. July 16th: Bloomington, IN – The Bishop, w/ Push-Pull
Sat. July 17th: Indianapolis, IN – The Melody Inn

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